002 – Root of all Embarrassment

Embarrassed (adj) – feeling or showing a state of self-conscious confusion and distress

The world can be a cruel place

Judgement, expectation and fear of being ostracized are strong motivators to avoid being different. What is the true root cause of this behavior though?

The fear of embarrassment is an enormous (if not the biggest) motivating factor in how you live your life. Apprehension of “being exposed” can vary:

  • Not as smart
  • Not having enough money
  • Not being right
  • Not winning
  • Not fitting in

All of these beliefs play a role in how you behave and live your life on a weekly, monthly and yearly basis. Are you enjoying that? Is that life any fun? Are you fulfilled by it?

I suspect not. There are a number of things that you can work through to change your mindset to one that is centered on what is best for YOU. This new mindset will get off that endless road you travel trying to avoid embarrassment.

New Mindset/Perspective/Direction:

Changing the way you perceive the life that happens around you requires that you view these events through a different lens. To see something far away you might use a pair of binoculars. To stop squinting during a bright sunny day, you would likely put on a pair of sunglasses.

The same effort is required to change your mindset. What will you need to change about your view of daily life in order to get out of the embarrassment rut?

There are 3 questions that you can ask yourself:

  • Why do I care?
  • How does that help me?
  • Does the other person/group REALLY care?

Why do I care?


Think back to when these feelings of “Not..” started. What caused that initial feeling of lack or inadequacy? Distill it down to the simple finite moment in time that has eventually led to your current state.

  • Do you still feel this way?
  • Why do you still feel this way?
  • Have you latched onto that feeling like a security blanket & just won’t let go?

How does that help me?

Have you gained anything from the habit of living in this constant state of fear? If someone were to find out that you aren’t perfect…then what? This never-ending cycle has led to a lot of anxiety and fear of the “truth” being revealed, hasn’t it?

Not a great way to live

Does the other person/group REALLY care?

This is the most important question to ask.

In reality, they don’t care. If they are truly going to judge you by their perception of what you lack, then they need to be kicked out of your friend group – seriously. In reality, they are likely dealing with the same fear and anxiety that you are.

These 3 simple questions will help you walk through the process of letting your fear of embarrassment go and let you live a life full of joy and clarity.

This process could take a few attempts to become habit but the more you run through this exercise the easier it will be – and the more successful you will be at it.

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